Conversations With My Brain

ME: Ok, time to write!

BRAIN: No.

ME: What do you mean, no?  I have a short story first draft that needs finishing, and I have time to work on it.  Let’s do this thing!

BRAIN: No, I’d rather check Facebook again.

ME: We just did that.

BRAIN: How about Livejournal?

ME: No one’s posted anything new to read.  See?

BRAIN: How about Twitter?

ME: I’m still not sure I actually like Twitter.

BRAIN: There could be something new on all those other sites and forums you have bookmarked.

ME: Or we could write, you lazy piece of–

BRAIN: How about piano? You like playing piano.

ME: I like writing too. And unlike playing the piano, I haven’t written yet today.

BRAIN: You could use some more coffee.  You like coffee.  And by the time you’re done brewing it, I’m sure there’ll be something new on LJ to read.

ME: That’s it. We’re visiting writeordie.com and getting some work done.

BRAIN: No, please, not that!

ME: Yeah, I actually got some work done with that last time, didn’t I?

BRAIN: Hey, look, you can buy Write or Die for your desktop.

ME: Or I could just use the free version and get some work done.

BRAIN: It’s only $10.

ME: Hmm, that might be nice.  But no, we need to work.

BRAIN: If you bought the desktop version, you’d be able work without opening your internet browser at all. You’d remove temptation.

ME: Hmm, that’s a good point.  And it is only $10.

(a PayPal transaction and a download onto my desktop and laptop later)

ME: Ok, now it’s time to work.

BRAIN: Don’t you want to play with it first?

ME: Yeah, by WORKING.

BRAIN: Ok, we’ll just close your email with the download link and–ooo, look! Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is on!

ME: Been there, mocked that.  Besides, if we write now, I’ll let you watch Mega Python vs. Gatoroid tonight as a reward.

BRAIN: Really? Ok, let’s do this thing!

ME: You say two hours later.  All right, let me just open my Scrivener file to see where we left off on this story.  And jot down this note about that idea we had.  Ooo, and if that happens, then maybe this? Yes! And then this. And this…

(half an hour later)

ME: Huh, look at that.  No first draftage, but I’ve got the entire rest of the story outlined.

BRAIN: And it doesn’t totally suck.  Not sure it stands on its own, though. That’s the problem with a novel prequel. It might not–

ME: Shut up and let me have my moment, would you?